Raising Your Preschool Child with a Positive Touch
Raising your pre-school child can be a lot of fun. They are likely curious, chatty and always asking questions. They spend a lot of time running around and participating in gross motor play. They are exploring fine motor skills with activities like drawing and coloring. Reading together is enjoyable while you embrace the quiet time and love for each other.
It wasn’t that long ago they were babies. They were so dependent on you as a parent. Now, their language has become clearer and they can express their needs. This new phase of independence can bring on a different set of joys and challenges compared to the newborn and infancy phases.
Trying to help your child maneuver through the pre-school years is filled with challenges as they want to adventure out from their comfort zone and experience life while you are trying to guide them, both for learning purposes and for safety reasons. I like to equate this stage of development as a prelude to the teenage years. They are trying to branch out, but they still need to learn from you. How do you walk that fine line of giving them freedom while still guiding them with love and wisdom?
Children, and for that matter adults, learn best when they are in a positive environment, receiving instructions in a positive and constructive manner. Acknowledging that they are in learning mode, you expect them to make mistakes on a regular basis. As parents, you can have a better understanding of their behavior and have expectations for performance if you can understand the main areas of development, including gross motor, fine motor, language, social and problem solving.
When children come into the office for their well-child visits, we assess these areas of development through the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ). You can access these questionnaires online, provided by Dr. Michael Taymor, MD. This can help you understand some reasonable expectations of your child. Some additional helpful tools I suggest checking out include:
Below are some tips and guidelines that can help you foster healthy and happy development for your pre-school child:
Helping Your Child Take Care of Their Body
- Proper nutrition: When children are eating properly and sleeping well, they are likely to be rested the next day. They are also more likely to regulate their emotions and listen better. Check out these recommendations from the AAP website, healthychildren.org.
- Good sleep: Ensure your child is getting enough sleep at night. On an average, kids between ages 3-4 need about 11-12 hours of sleep at night. It’s unusual to see a 4-year-old taking naps in the middle of the day, but some 3-year-old may take a 1-2 hour nap during the day.
- Routines: Establish routines and predictable times for eating, playing, reading, and sleeping. Children like to know what is next, it gives them a sense of comfort and security.
- Talk it out: Plan to have a “therapy” session with your child at the end of the day. Encourage them to express to you three things: what they thought was fun for the day, what was a challenge, and what was frustrating. This session can happen at bath-time or maybe when you cuddle in before reading together. As best as you can, try to be a good listener, empathizing with them. Their release of thoughts and emotions will help them have a good sleep. They will also be able to use you as a sounding board as they learn how to problem solve, explore feelings and express themselves. Repeating this nightly routine deepens your relationship with your child and creates a foundation that promotes them sharing with you long into your future relationship.
Create Positive Experiences
- Reading together: Reading to your child is fun for children because they get to use their imagination. Not only are you helping them develop their language, but you are also fostering their ability to solve problems. Typically, good books showcase someone with a problem that needs to be solved. While reading the book, stop and periodically ask them how else that problem could have been solved, what would they do differently, or how the book makes them feel. This exercise might call for them to express feelings, learn empathy, and problem solve.
- Play games: Simple board games and card games are a good way to have fun together. Your child will learn how to follow directions, move a playing piece, count spaces, have successes, and learn to handle their emotions when things don’t go their way. They will learn how to wait their turn and how to play by the rules.
- Get outside: Go to the park. You can talk about the different birds flying around, the trees or plants that line the walking paths. These moments help discover the value of being at peace. They help reduce anxiety. Preschool-aged kids can learn to self-soothe by being in nature.
- Be active: Go for a bike ride or a walk in your neighborhood. Have your child describe what they see. This is a fun activity that helps with language development and observation skills.
Promote Social Development
- Set up play dates for your child: This will help them leave their ego-centric world and begin to understand others. By age 4, children have a good vocabulary. This will help kids when they are playing together as they pick what games to play, what rules to set. You may need to prompt a play activity, like a nature scavenger hunt, then let them play with their play date.
- Play together: Make sure to put your cell phone away when you play with your child. They crave your attention.
Promote a Sense of Responsibility
- Helping out: Have your child help with tasks around the house. Let them set the table, sort the laundry or pick up sticks in the yard. This can help them foster their independence.
- Give praise: Praise them when they get ready by themselves in the morning. This can include getting dressed, brushing their hair and teeth and putting on their own shoes. Perhaps the night before, they can pick out the outfit they would like to wear the next day.
Promote Problem Solving Skills
- Thinking out loud: When they encounter a problem, have them think out loud with you. Have them describe the problem and how they would like to solve it. It may be tempting to give them the solution, especially if you feel in a hurry. But taking the time to be patient and listen to what they have to say will help them develop confidence and solve problems by themselves.
- Stay calm: Portray calmness as both of you encounter a problem. If you can think and talk calmly, you can help them learn to be calm, too. Good techniques include taking a couple of deep breaths or counting to ten. This will help relax the body and then have a clear mind.
I recently read with pleasure an article published by The University of California Davis Children Hospital, The Power of Positive Parenting. In the article, they describe the acronym PRIDE to help parents develop five skills for positive parenting:
- Praise: A positive statement that expresses approval. Praise helps children feel good and validates what they are doing is important.
- Reflection: Repeating back a child’s words and elaborating on what they said. By doing this, you are letting them know you are paying attention and making them feel important.
- Imitation: Playing or making similar gestures that your child makes. When you do this, you let them know you are all in their activity and this makes them feel special.
- Description: Describing what your child is doing like a sportscaster is doing in a play by play of a game. This lets them know they have your undivided attention.
- Enjoyment: Where you express warmth and positivity with words and actions while you play with your child.
Every child’s temperament is different, not good or bad. Finding out the best way to address your child’s temperament is so important. This article in healthychildren.org might give you some insight if you are having a difficult time relating with your child. Talk to your child’s pediatrician if you have concerns that we can address and help you with.
References:
- Creating Positive Experiences for your Infant, in HealthyChildren.Org
- Positive Experiences for your Toddle & Preschool Children, HealthyChildren.Org
- Preschooler Development, CDC.gov
- The Power of Positive Parenting, UC Davis Children Hospita
I originally published this article at Bronson’s website,
- Article from Dr. John Spitzer, Pediatrician at Bronson Primary Care Partners
Peanut Consumption and Allergies
Many parents hesitate to introduce peanut butter to infants because of the high risk for fatal or near-fatal allergic reactions. We used to think that avoiding peanut butter early on might reduce the risk to developing an allergy to peanut butter. However, we have found that early peanut consumption can minimize an allergy development.
Recent research in the past few years has shown that it is safe for infants to get peanut butter in infancy. A recent study looked at children who received peanut early on were still able to tolerate it in their adolescence.
As noted in the AAP News from June 3, 2024, “In the original 2015 study, called Learning Early About Peanut allergy (LEAP), 640 infants between 4 and 11 months old with severe eczema, egg allergy or both were given skin-prick tests for peanut allergy. Children in each of the two resulting cohorts then were randomly assigned to consume or avoid peanuts until reaching age 60 months.
On the initial allergy test, 530 had negative results. At 60 months, 13.7% of those infants in the avoidance group developed a peanut allergy compared to 1.9% in the consumption group. Among the 98 infants with positive initial results, 35.3% of those who avoided peanuts developed allergy compared to 10.6% of those who consumed peanuts.”
A recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, May 2024, called LEAP-Trio, “examined 508 of the initial 640 participants at age 12 years, and 497 of them had enough data to determine whether they had developed a peanut allergy. Of those, 15.4% in the avoidance group had peanut allergy compared to 4.4% in the consumption group.”
We have developed a comfort level with introducing peanut butter to infants. With infants who have severe eczema and/or a strong family history of food allergies, we feel it’s a good idea to work with an allergist/immunologist. To learn more about introducing allergenic type foods in infancy, You can read this the AAP site HealthyChildren.Org article.
References:
When Can I Start Feeding My Baby Peanut Butter in HealthyChildren.Org.
Praying with Jesus in Capernaum
Being with Jesus in the Ignatian style of prayer (see https://www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/ignatian-spirituality/examen-and-ignatian-prayer/praying-the-ignatian-way-reflective-prayer/) I found myself praying with Jesus in Capernaum this week. Sometimes it’s hard to find time for prayer in the busy of the winter, but we can use our imagination and be with Jesus if we can prioritize some time to be in prayer.
This winter season has been busy with ill children. The schedule for today was full, a mix of routine care with children who were mostly ill with upper respiratory infections and its secondary bacterial infections. After waking up early around 4 am and not being able to go back to sleep, I decided to get ready to go work. Illnesses presented themselves in many forms, from simple colds to ear infections, pneumonias and bloody stools. Routine care visits sprinkled the schedule throughout the day, including well child visits and ADHD follow ups. Every parent had an opinion of their child’s illness and part of my job was to educate them on the current illness and how to help their children get better. It was a hard pace to keep up, to the point that sometimes it was a challenge trying to figure when it was a good time to go to the bathroom.
Nevertheless, after working for almost 12 hours, I came home, had dinner with Anne, took a shower and proceeded to pray in the Ignatian style of prayer. As I centered myself and prayed with God our Father, I closed my eyes and began to place myself in Capernaum with Jesus. The gospel readings this week in January have been from the Gospel of Mark, starting with Jesus being baptized in the Jordan River by John the Baptist (Mark 1: 9-11) and hearing, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
The Holy Spirit then takes Jesus into the wilderness (Mark 1:12-13) where he is tempted by Satan for 40 days. He then goes to the Sea of Galilee and begins to call his disciples, first Simon and his brother Andrew, and then James and John, sons of Zebedee (Mark 1:16-20). They then head to Capernaum and Jesus teaches in the synagogue on the Sabbath. Upon learning that Simon’s mother-in-law is ill, they go to her place. It is here that I begin my prayer.
I can see that the house is rustic. Simon’s mother-in-law is in a room by herself, the entrance is covered with a red curtain. Jesus proceeds to enter the room and I can see empathy in Jesus’ facial expression as he looks at her. He holds her hand and closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and just rests with her. It’s as if his energy if flowing out to her and soon thereafter, she opens her eyes and smiles. As Mark states in the gospel reading, “The fever left her, and she began to wait on them” (Mark 1:29-31). Jesus thanks our Father for helping him heal her.
Many others come for healing that evening: leprosy, pneumonias, stomach ailments. It turns into a long day for Jesus, and he decides to get up early the next morning to pray. I decide to join Jesus in prayer and head out in the cool morning. There is dew on the grass and the sun light is just barely coming up in the horizon. I close my eyes while Jesus and I sit together in this solitary field under a fig tree. We pray in quiet as we feel the Father’s peace and love. For a moment, we are one with the Father, feeling God’s love for us. It is here that we find our source of energy, full of love, as we ready to tackle another day to heal people. I thank Jesus for letting me be with him, we smile at each other, and proceed to look straight ahead as the sun continues to rise.
References
https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark+1&version=NIV
This Christmas 2023
I can already see our street lined with luminaries. It is a tradition that our neighborhood has been doing for about 40 years. I am not sure if we’ll have snowflakes coming down on Christmas Eve as the last few years have been warmer than usual and we have not had snow, but families will be strolling on the sidewalks with their kids, a family-feel to the evening. The Holy Family will be in my thoughts as I get ready for mass.
I think about Jesus’ birth, and I feel engulfed with love from St. Joseph, our Blessed Mother Mary, and God our Father. I can see them in the manger, with animals nearby and the shepherds looking in awe. It is an image that I have drawn from the Bible passages, from readings in school, and from paintings. It is a picture created by my intellect, my imagination, and my memory.
But being a Christian pushes me to go deeper into my heart and beyond my intellect. I experience God in my heart as I encounter experiences in life, and if I’m humble enough and don’t get busy in my mind, I can hear God whisper to me expressions of love that God has for me, “John, you are my beloved son.” I can read as much as I want about God and Jesus, and admire the beautiful art on display, but in the end, I need to experience God in my heart.
As Pope Benedict XVI states, “being a Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but an encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” (Father Richard Veras in Magnificat, November 2023).
Further, in Benedictus Day by Day (December 24), Pope Benedict XVI states, “God is not a conclusion we have reached by thinking, which we now offer to others in the certainty of our own perception and understanding … when we talk of the living God, it means: this God shows himself to us; he looks out from eternity into time and puts himself into relationship with us.”
Thus, I find myself in relationship with the baby Jesus as I try to practice love, being charitable and merciful. I look forward to being in relationship with my family and friends. I give myself with my time and my love for them. I may also consider giving a gift as an expression of my love. If you are looking for gift ideas for your children, spouses or relatives, you can visit the Catholics Online website and claim a free Cozy Catholic Christmas Catalog.
But in being together, we share our stories of joy and hardship. We support each other as Jesus supported the disciples, both in times of laughter but also in distress, like consoling Mary Magdalene at the resurrection (“Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” John 20:11-18) or Peter when he thought he might drown (“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:22-33). These interactions with the disciples extend to me as Jesus takes care of me and loves me. But I also may reciprocate this love for Jesus.
As the Baby Jesus lays in the manger, I am tempted to pick him up and cradle him in my arms. He is so fragile and so dependent on us that I want to feed him, change his diaper, maybe rock him to sleep. I can smell his baby skin and find peace in my heart as I listen to the small breaths.
It is an experience of Jesus loving me and I am also loving the Baby Jesus. It is this Baby Jesus who takes care of me, soothes me, and loves me. And in this experience, as my cup is filled, I can pass this love to others, including those I don’t know but I see on the streets as they wonder where they will stay for the night to get relief from the cold.
So, in this Advent Season, as we wait and approach Christmas Eve, I hope you feel Baby Jesus’ unconditional love for you so that in turn you can pass it on. Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
Mental Health & Emotions
Mental Health & Emotions (an excerpt from the AAP)
Talking about mental health and our emotions this month of November, after our kids have been in school for a couple of months, seems like a good topic of conversation for us parents.
School-aged children and teens deal with emotions that sometimes can adversely affect their performance during the day. Anger, over issues both small and large, can create bad moods that affect not only the child/teen but everybody else around them.
Sometimes emotions may be a result of stress. This can cause issues like irritability, poor sleep, changes in eating and social withdrawal. If there is enough disturbance in their daily life and performance, then it’s a good idea to step in as parents to help them out.
You can start by extending an invitation for discussion but don’t be surprised, and don’t force the issue, if they are not ready to talk yet. Simply provide a physical and emotional presence as you wait for them to take you up on that invitation. If you have an idea about what is going on, you can share your feelings of similar situations you may have experienced yourself. Open ended questions in a non-judgmental way can lead to good discussions.
Real life experiences are a great way to teach them how to manage their emotions. If there is a final message on these teaching points, it is that they need to learn that emotions happen, and they do not control our lives. It is possible to approach this in a methodical way, and as a parent, we always have to make sure we remain emotionally in control and balanced. Learning how to identify these feelings is the beginning of knowing what is going on with that bad mood. It is possible that we may have to role model and talk it out for them if they are having difficulty identifying their emotions. Next up, we need to teach them they can regulate emotions and thereby reduce other behavior problems. For one child it may be sitting in a comfortable spot to read a book but for another it may be burning some energy in the back yard before they come back in for a snack. Teaching them to be responsible for their feelings (so they don’t take it out on others) and learning some resiliency (they can change their mood) is a good start to a healthy mental state.
Developing resiliency is a good way to realize they can be in control of their emotions… So not only can they can deal better with stress and anger, for example, but they can extend this to other emotions such as fear and anxiety that may lead to self-doubt and lack of confidence. Your child may be curious about trying out for the soccer team, but they are not sure. A gentle push and acknowledgement of these feelings can help them try it out. These opportunities, in turn, may lead to some failures and mistakes, that when framed in a positive and teachable moment, can lead to growth and eventual self-confidence.
Here are some other tips to help your child develop a positive mental health:
- Enjoy the outdoors. Sunshine boosts your mood!
- Get enough sleep. This is about 11-12 hours for a 5-year-old, 10 hours for a 10-year-old, and 8 hours for a 15-year-old.
- Eat meals on a regular basis, starting with a good breakfast. Avoid sugar highs from junk food and fast food.
- Help your child practice gratitude and appreciation.
- Exercise on a regular basis.
- Teach your child to be kind to people and help others. It’s amazing how happy our hearts feel when we get involved in helping others, from as simple as holding a door open for somebody.
- Turn off the TV and electronics and play outside or play family board and card games.
- Teach your child about mindfulness, yoga or meditation. These are good techniques to reduce stress.
If you feel that emotions and stress have led your child or teen to significant anxiety or depression, let us know as we may be able to help and may provide other solutions. We are here for you!
(I originally published this article on Bronson’s web site, https://www.bronsonhealth.com/news/pediatric-news-/)
References and other reading:
Making Friends in School
It can be a challenge making friends in school if you are new to the school or neighborhood. The beginning of the school year can be a lot of fun for kids as they share and exchange stories from the summer activities: camping, fishing, making trips to see relatives, playing sports or going to camp. Seeing their friends in school is a great opportunity to share and exchange stories. But what if your child wants to make different friends from last year, or just simply make new friends?
Your child’s temperament can play a role if they tend to be shy. In addition, kids need to have the social skills to make connections with other kids. The challenge for any parent is how to help your child step out of their comfort zone and have the grace to create a relationship with another child.
For a child that is shy and perhaps introverted, helping them build social confidence can go a long way. Start out by setting examples at home.
Start at Home
A good place to help your child identify the values that are important to you is to practice at home. Talk with them about what you value most in a friendship, such as:
- Showing respect for others
- Playing in a fair way
- Sharing with others
- Talking in an encouraging and positive manner
Lead by Example
We should not underestimate how much our children are observing our behavior. When we have a good relationship with our child, we are more likely to influence them with our values. Having a good relationship with your child implies:
- Being involved in activities together
- Talking often (try doing the dishes together to set up for an easy conversation)
- Showing affection for each other
This in turn will help your child seek out other children who may share the same types of values and feelings.
Be a Host
We can take opportunities to get to know other children through school activities, from neighborhood parties, sports events, art camps and other get togethers. By hosting get togethers, you can observe the type of play that other children exhibit and how they treat each other. This will help you select those friendships that you wish to promote as you help your child’s social circle grow.
Help Them Build Social Skills
In addition to helping your child build friendships, it is important that they build good social skills. Here are some thoughts to consider:
- Teach your child how to start a conversation. This may be the biggest and earliest hurdle as we all want to put our best foot forward. Helping your child identify their interests so they can seek out children with similar interests can be the beginning for starting a conversation.
- Teach them how to keep a conversation going by exchanging ideas and opinions, acknowledging that topics and other ideas may change as the conversation progresses.
- Teach them how to read facial gestures so they can be empathetic with the other kid. By being understanding, they can foster a deeper relationship.
- Teach them how to recognize pauses in the conversation so they can give the other kid an opportunity to talk.
- Teach them how loud or soft-spoken they need to be depending on the setting. For example, yelling may be common when playing at the playground, but being soft-spoken may be better when talking one on one.
- Teach your child about personal space and keeping their hands to themselves. Some kids get excited when they are trying to make new friends and tend to invade personal space. They should learn that other children may not feel comfortable with that type of action.
All these suggestions will need to be practiced at home, so your child learns these skills and becomes confident. Pretend play and pretend scenarios can be a good place to start!
References
Let the Children Come to Me
“Let the children come to me” is a line from one of my favorite stories of the bible, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+18%3A1-5&version=NIV. It is a point of intersection where the disciples are feeling annoyed and irritated by the children playing around, feeling perhaps some element of pride as they think they know better what is needed for a teaching moment. And then, there’s Jesus wanting to highlight the simplicity and humility of children.
It was the end of this summer when I found myself reflecting on this story. The air felt warm, although it was tempered by a slight breeze. The clear blue sky with occasional cloud gave me energy and excitement for soccer practice that day. As I finished lacing up my soccer shoes, I saw the middle-Schoolers roll in for practice. We were in pre-season and about two weeks away from our first game.
I was an assistant coach last year and I’m doing it again this year. My responsibilities are not as heavy as the head coach’s job, but I have been wondering if I would like to get back into that position. There’s a certain excitement that goes along with managing a team, in particular as it relates to teaching children how to play the game, from developing their individual technical skills to learning the tactical aspect of how to play as a team. The last team I coached was a competitive U19 travel team before I decided to take a break a few years ago. Now I’m looking at a group of kids who have a wide range of skill, from never having played on a team to some who are playing travel soccer.
As we went through practice, I found myself following instructions and commands from the head coach to help the kids with their drills. It was in this state of humility that I found myself in the Ignatian style of prayer one more time with Jesus in the foreground. We were in Capernaum where Jesus had done many teachings. The weather was comfortably warm with a slight breeze coming from the west. The simple tunic I wore seemed cool enough as we sat in the shade. The houses were close by and there were multiple open areas for children to play. As Matthew in Chapter 18 recounted the story, “at that time, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, who he put among them, and said, “truly, I tell you unless you change and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” 1
I thought of this story and realized that being an assistant to help these children of God was actually a gift that God had given me to help me be more humble and more obedient. I desire nothing more than to be God’s servant so that I can be one with Jesus as I set my sights in God’s kingdom. It is only in this state of accepting humbly and receiving God’s love that I can return love to God.
Now two weeks later from that soccer practice, I find myself in mass today contemplating the first reading from Jeremiah and the love he is feeling for God. Jeremiah finds himself at odds with the chief officer Pashhur in the house of the Lord. After Jeremiah’s prophecies that terror will beset Jerusalem, Pashhur “struck the prophet and put him in the stocks at the upper gate of Benjamin in the House of the Lord.” (Jer 20:2)
Jeremiah finds himself in internal turmoil and exclaims, “you duped me Lord, and I let myself be duped. You were too strong for me, and you prevailed. All day long I am the object of laughter; everyone mocks me.” (Jer 20:7).
But despite his internal struggle, he cannot contain his love for God: “I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak in his name. But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones. I grow weary holding back, I cannot.” (Jer 20:9)
This living flame of God, as St. John of the Cross explains in his book2, consumes my heart and wants me to do nothing else but to please God. I want to get close to God, but I have to do it from a humble position, obedient to God and to God’s people. Only by being like a simple child, pure in heart and feeling free with the Holy Spirit, can I “go here or there,” and be God’s servant, can I be more like Jesus.
Psalm 63:2-9 pops into my head, a psalm of David when he has in the wilderness of Judah. I rest in God’s arms as I pray this psalm3:
Oh, God, you are my God –
it is you I seek!
for you, my body yearns;
for you, my soul thirsts
in a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
I look to you in the sanctuary
to see your power and glory
for your love is better than life;
my lips shall ever praise you!
I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands, calling on your name.
My soul shall be sated as with choice food,
with joyous lips my mouth shall praise you!
I think of you upon my bed,
I remember you through the watches of the night.
you indeed are my savior,
And in the shadow of your wings, I shout for joy.
My soul clings fast to you, your right hand upholds me.
References
- Matthew 18: 1-5. Bible Gateway, New International Version.
- The Living Flame of Love by St. John of the Cross. Cosimo Classics, New York, 2007. Translation by David Lewis.
- Psalm 63, New American RE Bible in Laudate App, https://catholicapps.com/laudate/
Heading Back to School Safety Tips
It is hard to believe that summer is coming to an end and September is just around the corner. This means that kids are heading back to school to enjoy another year of friendships and academic learning. To ensure that your child has a good experience this school year, here are some safety tips to keep in mind. Consider reviewing some of these tips with your child and discussing with them why they are important.
Walkers:
- Always use public sidewalks; if there is no sidewalk and you must walk in the street, walk facing the traffic
- Always look both ways before crossing the street. Do not enter the street from between objects like parked cars, signs, trees or shrubbery.
- Teach children to recognize and obey the traffic signals, signs and the pavement markings
- Never dart out in front of a parked car
- Parents: Practice walking to school with your child, crossing streets at crosswalks when available. Have a pre-established route that you both agree upon.
- Walking with friends is always safer than alone.
- Review your rule of talking with strangers. Never get into a car without parent’s knowledge and permission.
- Never walk while texting or talking on the phone
- Do not walk while using headphones
Bike Riders:
- Always wear a helmet that is fits properly.
- Check with the school at what age children can ride their bikes to school.
- Children need to know the rules of the road: Ride single file on the right side of the road, come to a complete stop before crossing the street and walk the bike across
- Practice the route to and from school
- Ride bike with friends; there is safety in numbers.
- Watch for opening car doors and other hazards
- Use hand signals when turning
- Wear bright-colored clothing
Bus Riders:
- Arrive early to the bus stop so your child is not tempted to cut corners or run across the street while trying to catch the bus.
- Line up six feet away from the curb as the bus approaches
- When riding the school bus, wait for the bus to stop completely before standing. Make sure the bus comes to a complete stop before getting off the bus.
- Do not shout or distract the driver.
- Do not walk in the driver’s “blind spot” — this is the area from the front of the bus to about 10 feet in front of the bus.
Teen Drivers:
- No texting while driving.
- Do not take a call on your phone unless you have a hands-free option in your car.
- Don’t change the music on your phone while driving
- Plan to get to school early. Accidents increase and defensive driving goes down when you are in a hurry to get to school.
- Slow down for school zones
- Students with a level two driver’s license in Michigan cannot take more than one passenger under the age of 21 in the car (with some exceptions)
- https://www.michigan.gov/sos/faqs/license-and-id/drivers-under-18
More Resources
As we think about other topics of safety in the school environment, you can visit the State of Michigan web’s page for more information.
References
The Feast of Mary Magdalene
We celebrate on July 22nd, the Feast of Mary Magdalene. We know little about Mary but there seem to be some generally accepted truths: there were women who accompanied Jesus on his mission, some who had been cured of evil spirits, among them Mary Magdalene (Luke 8:1-2); Mary Magdalene is among the women who witness Jesus’ crucifixion (John 19:25); and Mary is the first to visit the empty tomb, tell the apostles, and then encounters the resurrected Jesus (John 20: 1-18).
Perhaps the story that I can relate the most is when she comes back after Peter and John have raced to see the empty tomb. As I place myself in the scene and let my imagination participate in the Ignatian style, meditative contemplation, I can feel Mary’s anguish and pain. It has been less than three days since Jesus was crucified. I’m having a hard time understanding why the Romans would crucify him, he seemed to be such a good person, kind and merciful. His unconditional love touched all of us and advised us to turn the other cheek when trouble and insults would arise. Even the Jewish elders were angry at him and wanted him to go away. I could feel Jesus’ love for me and how he touched my heart. The whole crucifixion seemed so barbaric with so much bleeding, it just did not seem fair!
We wanted to give Jesus a proper burial on Friday instead of leaving him on the cross, and now it seems the Romans have taken him. Or was it the gardener. I watch Mary as she interacts with the angels inside the tomb as noted in the Gospel of John:
11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”
“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”
16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).
17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”
18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her. (John 20: 1-18, NIV) https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+20%3A1-18&version=NIV
How often have I found myself in Mary’s position, stuck in my own feelings of pain and sadness after an adverse event, wondering where was Jesus so he could help me out? It has been easy to be blinded by my own preoccupations, particularly if I’m feeling strongly that I want to do things my own way, make things better by myself.
But as I humble myself, acknowledging that I am so dependent on God and I am not much without God, I can feel the gardener become Jesus who looks at me and says, “John, I am right here. I have always been with you to guide you, to take care of you because you belong to me, you are one of mine. Your load may feel heavy, but I am here to lighten it. Let me love you and have mercy on you so we can go together to our Father.”
As my eyes become cloudy, I let Jesus put his arm around me and we walk together. I am no longer wondering where Jesus’ body has been placed, I know he has ascended to be with our father. Hopefully, it will not be long before it’s my turn to ascend and be with the Holy Trinity.
Thank you, Lord, for taking care of me, for guiding me, for giving me your unconditional love, for having mercy on me. May we rest in your peace.
Tips for staying safe near water this summer
As we head into the summer, I thought I would share with you some tips for staying safe near the water this summer. Here are some statistics to think about.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC):
- There are 4,000 unintentional fatal drownings every year in the U.S.
- There are 8,000 unintentional non-fatal drownings every year in the U.S.
- Nearly 40% of non-fatal drownings treated in the emergency departments require further hospitalization
- More kids in the 1-4 years old age range die from drowning than any other cause of death
Drowning is one of the most common forms of unintentional deaths amongst kids and teens in the U.S. With the right preparation and training, we can help prevent accidental drowning.
Who is Most at Risk for Drowning?
Children ages 1-4
Kids between the ages of 1-4 are more likely than any other age group to drown. With this age group, drowning is most common when the child was not expected to be near water. This includes children gaining access to an unsupervised pool. In fact, home swimming pools are the most common drowning site for kids ages 1-4.
Older teens and adults
In the 15-year-old and older group, most drownings occur in natural water settings (lakes, rivers, oceans, etc.). Moreso, around 80% of young adults and adults who die from drowning are male. Why might this be? Many of these drownings are connected to alcohol and high-risk activities. If you have a teen at home, I highly encourage you to share this article with them as we approach summer.
Non-Age-Related Risk Factors
People with certain medical conditions like seizures, autism or a heart condition are also at an increased risk for unintentional drowning. For people with a seizure disorder, the bathtub is the most common site for unintentional drowning. If a loved one suffers from a medical condition where they may lose control of their body or may not be able to safely care for themselves in a stressful situation, be sure to pay extra attention when they are near water.
Prevention is Key to Avoiding Drowning
So how do we make our environment safer and reduce the risk of drowning? Have a layered approach to water safety. This means:
- Have multiple safety steps in place to avoid accidents before they happen.
- Educate yourself and your children on how to stay safe in and around water.
Here are some tips from CDC, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) website (healthychildren.org), and AAP patient education handouts.
Swim Lessons
It is never too early to get your child into swim lessons! You can find local swim lessons for kids starting at 4-6 months. At this early age, lessons are for both baby and parent and are focused on getting your little one comfortable in the water. As your child gets a little older, typically pre-school age, lessons should include basic swimming skills and water safety.
Home Pool
- Fences:
- The best option for securing a home pool is to install a fence that is at least 4 feet tall around all 4 sides of the pool. Ideally, this fence is not connected to the house. The gate to the pool should open out from the pool and have a self-close and self-latch that children can’t reach. Why is this important? Just as it is important to keep animals or neighbors out of your pool, you also need to protect your own pets and children from entering the pool without your knowledge.
- If your pool is fenced in, but not separate from the house, install a secondary fence or net around all four sides of the pool. There are many designs and options available. No matter what, be sure that your pool is secured at all times.
- Make sure your back door facing the pool has an alarm that will make noise when opened. Consider having locks adjusted to a height that cannot be reached by young children.
- Children can be tricky and fast, so think about installing window guards on windows facing the pool. Reconsider pet doors that have access to the pool.
- Make sure you have rescue equipment nearby. Consider equipment that is made of fiberglass or another material that does not conduct electricity.
- Have life jackets that fit each of your children based on their size and age, as recommended by U.S. Coast Guard and tested by Underwriters Laboratories (UL). Remember, “floaties” are not a substitute for life jackets. They can create a false sense of security.
Diving
Learning to dive is exciting for a kid. However, diving in shallow areas can result in major injuries like neck/spinal cord injuries, head trauma, and potential life-long disability. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind as you talk with your child about diving safety:
- Never dive in shallow water! Teach your kids to recognize when water is shallow or deep. It may be easier to see how deep the water is in in a pool, but you often can’t see the bottom of open water. When jumping in the water for the first time, always enter feet first.
- Avoid diving into aboveground pools.
- Avoid diving through inner tubes or other pool toys.
Water Safety in the Open Water
- Never swim without adult supervision. No matter how old you are or how good of a swimmer you may be, it is always a good idea to have at least one person with you when swimming in open water.
- Never dive into water unless you know how deep it is. For kids, they should know not to dive into a pool unless an adult says it is safe.
- When boating, riding on a personal watercraft, fishing, waterskiing or playing in a river or stream, wear an approved personal flotation device (life jacket or life vest). This is important for both kids and adults. Water wings and other blow-up swimming aids (“floaties”) should not be used in place of life jackets.
- Never try water sports such as skiing, scuba diving or snorkeling without instructions from a qualified teacher.
- Never swim around anchored boats, in motorboat lanes, or where people are waterskiing.
- Never swim during electrical storms.
- If you swim or drift far from shore, stay calm and tread water, or float on your back until help arrives.
- Teach your child to know their limits:
- When they are too tired
- When they are too cold
- When they are too far from safety
- When they have had too much sun
- When they have had too much hard activity
Exceeding these limitations can set them up for danger.
Aside from lakes, rivers and ponds, other water hazards you may find around your house include canals, ditches, postholes, wells, fishponds and fountains. Watch your child closely if they are playing near any of these areas!
Life Jackets and Life Preserves
- Always have a life preserver if you are in open water. This may seem obvious for kids, but it is important for adults too. I personally swam in college, and I still find that wearing a life vest while in a lake makes it easier for me to rescue a child in trouble.
- Have your child wear a life jacket that is approved by the U. S. Coast Guard and was tested by the Underwriter Laboratories (UL). In addition, the jacket should fit for your child’s weight and age.
- Teach your child how to put on a life jacket correctly.
- Remember that “floaties” do not replace life jackets. This includes blow-up wings, rafts, noodles or air mattresses.
Water Safety Around the House
- Never leave an infant or young child alone in the bathtub. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye!
- Empty large buckets of water when you are done with a project. Infants and toddlers can fit their heads in the buckets and stay stuck.
- Consider bathroom doorknob locks or covers. Young children could wander into the bathroom and run the bathwater without adult supervision.
- Consider getting a toilet lid latch so toddlers don’t play with the toilet water. Toddlers could stick their heads in the toilet and get stuck.
Be Prepared for an Emergency
- Learn how to perform CPR. For all the technology we have in the intensive care units, the two bigger variables in helping a child survive a near-drowning event are:
- Reducing the time the victim is under water.
- Being ready and able to perform CPR when the victim is rescued from the water.
CPR classes are available throughout the community. Check bronsonhealth.com/classes as well as the local YMCAs and the American Red Cross.
If you are in an emergency, remember to dial 911 as soon as the drowning victim is pulled from the water.
(This article was originally published on May 25, 2023 at Bronson’s web page)
