The Essence of Being in Church
Our topic for this week’s prayer group, the story of Jesus and the cleansing of the temple (Matthew 21:12-17, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2021%3A12-17&version=NIV), made think of the essence of being in church. As I prayed over the story, I found myself as one of Jesus’ disciples in the Jesuit style of prayer.
It was mid-afternoon and we came into the temple. We had just come from the region of Judea and were making our way to Jerusalem. We crossed the entrance to the outer temple, and I could feel the busyness of the temple with Jews and non-Jews. Money changers were present to change others’ currency (Roman or other foreign land) into Tyrian Shekels so people could pay their taxes or buy a sacrificial animal. It was loud from people talking and negotiating, goats bleating, children laughing and running around. It was before Passover and Jerusalem was busy.
Looking at Jesus, I could see the anguish and disappointment in his facial expression. I remember when he was 12 years old, and he felt called to be in the temple. The occasion was also during Passover, and he had traveled with Joseph and Mary, relatives and friends (Luke 2:41-52, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%202%3A41-52&version=NIV) God the Father had called him and wanted Jesus to be with Him. It was an act of wanting to be one with the Holy Spirit. It seemed like a natural thing to do for Jesus, experiencing peace and love as the Trinity came together. And as Jesus listened to the elders and gave answers to some of their questions, “Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.” (Luke 2:47). To Joseph and Mary’s expression of concern of why he was missing, Jesus answered, “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49).
I remember when I felt a strong pull to go to church. Coincidentally, I was 12 years old, and my family had stopped going to church on a regular basis. I had felt a good connection with God after my first communion and prayed before bed every so often. There were kids in class who had started going to a school prayer group and had invited me to go, but I did not want to share with them my relationship with God. I felt like I was still trying to figure things out myself and felt private and protective of this. Then at Christmas time when I had turned 12, a friend from my neighborhood mentioned to me what a great experience he had had going to church by himself. He encouraged me to go, and so I did, by myself.
In church, I found I could talk quietly to God without interruption. Everybody was quiet in church, and I could just contemplate the crucifix, the statues of Mary, Joseph, St. Peter and St. Paul. I felt like I belonged, I felt God embracing me. This loving call from God became the juice my heart needed for me to start going to church every Sunday evening. Soon, I found friends from the same block joining me to church. It became a time of respect and introspection, a time away from all our running around playing soccer, tag, and just being goofy.
I could understand Jesus’ pain as he scanned the whole outer temple area while contrasting this vision with his experience as a 12-year-old.
The people and merchants doing business there felt like they were doing the right thing. A fair number of them, you could say, were “middlemen” trying to “help” people who wanted to be in the temple area to celebrate the Passover. Some of the Jews had come from afar, not bringing any animals with them to make the journey easier but had money to purchase lambs, oxen or pigeons there at the temple. Some of these businessmen were possibly not honest people either, using the occasion for ways to make more money.
Jesus proceeded to make a whip while feeling disappointment, frustration, and anger that the people had turned the temple into a place of business.
As Luke recounts the story, “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.” (Luke 21:12-13)
As Jesus rested, I could see sweat on his face. He looked tired for the moment; his breathing was heavy. He had eyes of disbelief and sorrow for those he considered his brothers. They seemed to have gone astray, being in the temple for the wrong reason. They thought they were doing good in the temple area, but it was on their terms and not on God’s terms.
It was part of tradition to offer a sacrifice of animals, but Jesus wanted them to be with God in their hearts. There were people who were facilitating buying these animals, creating an area of commerce they felt was justified to help the Jews celebrate Passover. Jesus wanted the temple to be holy.
And so, I find myself sometimes struggling with my real intent to be in church. At times, I want to ask God for help as I think about challenges from work. On some occasions, I might start to pray and then my mind drifts to problem solving the obstacle of the day. Or perhaps, I find it tempting to rationalize my behavior in life in general that I meant well or maybe I was correct in my actions, but maybe I wasn’t. I forget in the moment my real reason for being in church.
It is in these moments when I want to take control of my reason for being in church and to direct my mind in prayer that I am more likely to behave like the money changers. I may be tempted to say, “I am not doing anything wrong,” or “I made time and traveled a ways to be here in church and feel a little prideful.” It is in these moments that I can tell I am not raising my heart to God; I am being resistant to letting God dwell in me.
I went to church this past Sunday with this story in the back of my head. I decided to walk in and not have an agenda, to just rest with God. It felt good to be in God’s arms, just resting. I found myself contemplating Jesus on the cross, our blessed mother and St. john by his side. I could feel that Jesus understood my challenges in prayer and accepted me just as I was. The chants from the choir seemed to elevate my heart, and after I received communion, asking Jesus to live in me, I could hear God the Father telling me, “John, you are my beloved son with whom I am well pleased.” I just went back to my pew and rested.
Thank you, Lord, to being with me, for guiding me, for holding me, for loving me. Thank you for helping me realize in church that I am your temple where you can reside in my heart.
Raising Your Preschool Child with a Positive Touch
Raising your pre-school child can be a lot of fun. They are likely curious, chatty and always asking questions. They spend a lot of time running around and participating in gross motor play. They are exploring fine motor skills with activities like drawing and coloring. Reading together is enjoyable while you embrace the quiet time and love for each other.
It wasn’t that long ago they were babies. They were so dependent on you as a parent. Now, their language has become clearer and they can express their needs. This new phase of independence can bring on a different set of joys and challenges compared to the newborn and infancy phases.
Trying to help your child maneuver through the pre-school years is filled with challenges as they want to adventure out from their comfort zone and experience life while you are trying to guide them, both for learning purposes and for safety reasons. I like to equate this stage of development as a prelude to the teenage years. They are trying to branch out, but they still need to learn from you. How do you walk that fine line of giving them freedom while still guiding them with love and wisdom?
Children, and for that matter adults, learn best when they are in a positive environment, receiving instructions in a positive and constructive manner. Acknowledging that they are in learning mode, you expect them to make mistakes on a regular basis. As parents, you can have a better understanding of their behavior and have expectations for performance if you can understand the main areas of development, including gross motor, fine motor, language, social and problem solving.
When children come into the office for their well-child visits, we assess these areas of development through the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ). You can access these questionnaires online, provided by Dr. Michael Taymor, MD. This can help you understand some reasonable expectations of your child. Some additional helpful tools I suggest checking out include:
Below are some tips and guidelines that can help you foster healthy and happy development for your pre-school child:
Helping Your Child Take Care of Their Body
- Proper nutrition: When children are eating properly and sleeping well, they are likely to be rested the next day. They are also more likely to regulate their emotions and listen better. Check out these recommendations from the AAP website, healthychildren.org.
- Good sleep: Ensure your child is getting enough sleep at night. On an average, kids between ages 3-4 need about 11-12 hours of sleep at night. It’s unusual to see a 4-year-old taking naps in the middle of the day, but some 3-year-old may take a 1-2 hour nap during the day.
- Routines: Establish routines and predictable times for eating, playing, reading, and sleeping. Children like to know what is next, it gives them a sense of comfort and security.
- Talk it out: Plan to have a “therapy” session with your child at the end of the day. Encourage them to express to you three things: what they thought was fun for the day, what was a challenge, and what was frustrating. This session can happen at bath-time or maybe when you cuddle in before reading together. As best as you can, try to be a good listener, empathizing with them. Their release of thoughts and emotions will help them have a good sleep. They will also be able to use you as a sounding board as they learn how to problem solve, explore feelings and express themselves. Repeating this nightly routine deepens your relationship with your child and creates a foundation that promotes them sharing with you long into your future relationship.
Create Positive Experiences
- Reading together: Reading to your child is fun for children because they get to use their imagination. Not only are you helping them develop their language, but you are also fostering their ability to solve problems. Typically, good books showcase someone with a problem that needs to be solved. While reading the book, stop and periodically ask them how else that problem could have been solved, what would they do differently, or how the book makes them feel. This exercise might call for them to express feelings, learn empathy, and problem solve.
- Play games: Simple board games and card games are a good way to have fun together. Your child will learn how to follow directions, move a playing piece, count spaces, have successes, and learn to handle their emotions when things don’t go their way. They will learn how to wait their turn and how to play by the rules.
- Get outside: Go to the park. You can talk about the different birds flying around, the trees or plants that line the walking paths. These moments help discover the value of being at peace. They help reduce anxiety. Preschool-aged kids can learn to self-soothe by being in nature.
- Be active: Go for a bike ride or a walk in your neighborhood. Have your child describe what they see. This is a fun activity that helps with language development and observation skills.
Promote Social Development
- Set up play dates for your child: This will help them leave their ego-centric world and begin to understand others. By age 4, children have a good vocabulary. This will help kids when they are playing together as they pick what games to play, what rules to set. You may need to prompt a play activity, like a nature scavenger hunt, then let them play with their play date.
- Play together: Make sure to put your cell phone away when you play with your child. They crave your attention.
Promote a Sense of Responsibility
- Helping out: Have your child help with tasks around the house. Let them set the table, sort the laundry or pick up sticks in the yard. This can help them foster their independence.
- Give praise: Praise them when they get ready by themselves in the morning. This can include getting dressed, brushing their hair and teeth and putting on their own shoes. Perhaps the night before, they can pick out the outfit they would like to wear the next day.
Promote Problem Solving Skills
- Thinking out loud: When they encounter a problem, have them think out loud with you. Have them describe the problem and how they would like to solve it. It may be tempting to give them the solution, especially if you feel in a hurry. But taking the time to be patient and listen to what they have to say will help them develop confidence and solve problems by themselves.
- Stay calm: Portray calmness as both of you encounter a problem. If you can think and talk calmly, you can help them learn to be calm, too. Good techniques include taking a couple of deep breaths or counting to ten. This will help relax the body and then have a clear mind.
I recently read with pleasure an article published by The University of California Davis Children Hospital, The Power of Positive Parenting. In the article, they describe the acronym PRIDE to help parents develop five skills for positive parenting:
- Praise: A positive statement that expresses approval. Praise helps children feel good and validates what they are doing is important.
- Reflection: Repeating back a child’s words and elaborating on what they said. By doing this, you are letting them know you are paying attention and making them feel important.
- Imitation: Playing or making similar gestures that your child makes. When you do this, you let them know you are all in their activity and this makes them feel special.
- Description: Describing what your child is doing like a sportscaster is doing in a play by play of a game. This lets them know they have your undivided attention.
- Enjoyment: Where you express warmth and positivity with words and actions while you play with your child.
Every child’s temperament is different, not good or bad. Finding out the best way to address your child’s temperament is so important. This article in healthychildren.org might give you some insight if you are having a difficult time relating with your child. Talk to your child’s pediatrician if you have concerns that we can address and help you with.
References:
- Creating Positive Experiences for your Infant, in HealthyChildren.Org
- Positive Experiences for your Toddle & Preschool Children, HealthyChildren.Org
- Preschooler Development, CDC.gov
- The Power of Positive Parenting, UC Davis Children Hospita
I originally published this article at Bronson’s website,
- Article from Dr. John Spitzer, Pediatrician at Bronson Primary Care Partners
Peanut Consumption and Allergies
Many parents hesitate to introduce peanut butter to infants because of the high risk for fatal or near-fatal allergic reactions. We used to think that avoiding peanut butter early on might reduce the risk to developing an allergy to peanut butter. However, we have found that early peanut consumption can minimize an allergy development.
Recent research in the past few years has shown that it is safe for infants to get peanut butter in infancy. A recent study looked at children who received peanut early on were still able to tolerate it in their adolescence.
As noted in the AAP News from June 3, 2024, “In the original 2015 study, called Learning Early About Peanut allergy (LEAP), 640 infants between 4 and 11 months old with severe eczema, egg allergy or both were given skin-prick tests for peanut allergy. Children in each of the two resulting cohorts then were randomly assigned to consume or avoid peanuts until reaching age 60 months.
On the initial allergy test, 530 had negative results. At 60 months, 13.7% of those infants in the avoidance group developed a peanut allergy compared to 1.9% in the consumption group. Among the 98 infants with positive initial results, 35.3% of those who avoided peanuts developed allergy compared to 10.6% of those who consumed peanuts.”
A recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, May 2024, called LEAP-Trio, “examined 508 of the initial 640 participants at age 12 years, and 497 of them had enough data to determine whether they had developed a peanut allergy. Of those, 15.4% in the avoidance group had peanut allergy compared to 4.4% in the consumption group.”
We have developed a comfort level with introducing peanut butter to infants. With infants who have severe eczema and/or a strong family history of food allergies, we feel it’s a good idea to work with an allergist/immunologist. To learn more about introducing allergenic type foods in infancy, You can read this the AAP site HealthyChildren.Org article.
References:
When Can I Start Feeding My Baby Peanut Butter in HealthyChildren.Org.
Praying with Jesus in Capernaum
Being with Jesus in the Ignatian style of prayer (see https://www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/ignatian-spirituality/examen-and-ignatian-prayer/praying-the-ignatian-way-reflective-prayer/) I found myself praying with Jesus in Capernaum this week. Sometimes it’s hard to find time for prayer in the busy of the winter, but we can use our imagination and be with Jesus if we can prioritize some time to be in prayer.
This winter season has been busy with ill children. The schedule for today was full, a mix of routine care with children who were mostly ill with upper respiratory infections and its secondary bacterial infections. After waking up early around 4 am and not being able to go back to sleep, I decided to get ready to go work. Illnesses presented themselves in many forms, from simple colds to ear infections, pneumonias and bloody stools. Routine care visits sprinkled the schedule throughout the day, including well child visits and ADHD follow ups. Every parent had an opinion of their child’s illness and part of my job was to educate them on the current illness and how to help their children get better. It was a hard pace to keep up, to the point that sometimes it was a challenge trying to figure when it was a good time to go to the bathroom.
Nevertheless, after working for almost 12 hours, I came home, had dinner with Anne, took a shower and proceeded to pray in the Ignatian style of prayer. As I centered myself and prayed with God our Father, I closed my eyes and began to place myself in Capernaum with Jesus. The gospel readings this week in January have been from the Gospel of Mark, starting with Jesus being baptized in the Jordan River by John the Baptist (Mark 1: 9-11) and hearing, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
The Holy Spirit then takes Jesus into the wilderness (Mark 1:12-13) where he is tempted by Satan for 40 days. He then goes to the Sea of Galilee and begins to call his disciples, first Simon and his brother Andrew, and then James and John, sons of Zebedee (Mark 1:16-20). They then head to Capernaum and Jesus teaches in the synagogue on the Sabbath. Upon learning that Simon’s mother-in-law is ill, they go to her place. It is here that I begin my prayer.
I can see that the house is rustic. Simon’s mother-in-law is in a room by herself, the entrance is covered with a red curtain. Jesus proceeds to enter the room and I can see empathy in Jesus’ facial expression as he looks at her. He holds her hand and closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and just rests with her. It’s as if his energy if flowing out to her and soon thereafter, she opens her eyes and smiles. As Mark states in the gospel reading, “The fever left her, and she began to wait on them” (Mark 1:29-31). Jesus thanks our Father for helping him heal her.
Many others come for healing that evening: leprosy, pneumonias, stomach ailments. It turns into a long day for Jesus, and he decides to get up early the next morning to pray. I decide to join Jesus in prayer and head out in the cool morning. There is dew on the grass and the sun light is just barely coming up in the horizon. I close my eyes while Jesus and I sit together in this solitary field under a fig tree. We pray in quiet as we feel the Father’s peace and love. For a moment, we are one with the Father, feeling God’s love for us. It is here that we find our source of energy, full of love, as we ready to tackle another day to heal people. I thank Jesus for letting me be with him, we smile at each other, and proceed to look straight ahead as the sun continues to rise.
References
https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark+1&version=NIV
This Christmas 2023
I can already see our street lined with luminaries. It is a tradition that our neighborhood has been doing for about 40 years. I am not sure if we’ll have snowflakes coming down on Christmas Eve as the last few years have been warmer than usual and we have not had snow, but families will be strolling on the sidewalks with their kids, a family-feel to the evening. The Holy Family will be in my thoughts as I get ready for mass.
I think about Jesus’ birth, and I feel engulfed with love from St. Joseph, our Blessed Mother Mary, and God our Father. I can see them in the manger, with animals nearby and the shepherds looking in awe. It is an image that I have drawn from the Bible passages, from readings in school, and from paintings. It is a picture created by my intellect, my imagination, and my memory.
But being a Christian pushes me to go deeper into my heart and beyond my intellect. I experience God in my heart as I encounter experiences in life, and if I’m humble enough and don’t get busy in my mind, I can hear God whisper to me expressions of love that God has for me, “John, you are my beloved son.” I can read as much as I want about God and Jesus, and admire the beautiful art on display, but in the end, I need to experience God in my heart.
As Pope Benedict XVI states, “being a Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but an encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” (Father Richard Veras in Magnificat, November 2023).
Further, in Benedictus Day by Day (December 24), Pope Benedict XVI states, “God is not a conclusion we have reached by thinking, which we now offer to others in the certainty of our own perception and understanding … when we talk of the living God, it means: this God shows himself to us; he looks out from eternity into time and puts himself into relationship with us.”
Thus, I find myself in relationship with the baby Jesus as I try to practice love, being charitable and merciful. I look forward to being in relationship with my family and friends. I give myself with my time and my love for them. I may also consider giving a gift as an expression of my love. If you are looking for gift ideas for your children, spouses or relatives, you can visit the Catholics Online website and claim a free Cozy Catholic Christmas Catalog.
But in being together, we share our stories of joy and hardship. We support each other as Jesus supported the disciples, both in times of laughter but also in distress, like consoling Mary Magdalene at the resurrection (“Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” John 20:11-18) or Peter when he thought he might drown (“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:22-33). These interactions with the disciples extend to me as Jesus takes care of me and loves me. But I also may reciprocate this love for Jesus.
As the Baby Jesus lays in the manger, I am tempted to pick him up and cradle him in my arms. He is so fragile and so dependent on us that I want to feed him, change his diaper, maybe rock him to sleep. I can smell his baby skin and find peace in my heart as I listen to the small breaths.
It is an experience of Jesus loving me and I am also loving the Baby Jesus. It is this Baby Jesus who takes care of me, soothes me, and loves me. And in this experience, as my cup is filled, I can pass this love to others, including those I don’t know but I see on the streets as they wonder where they will stay for the night to get relief from the cold.
So, in this Advent Season, as we wait and approach Christmas Eve, I hope you feel Baby Jesus’ unconditional love for you so that in turn you can pass it on. Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
Mental Health & Emotions
Mental Health & Emotions (an excerpt from the AAP)
Talking about mental health and our emotions this month of November, after our kids have been in school for a couple of months, seems like a good topic of conversation for us parents.
School-aged children and teens deal with emotions that sometimes can adversely affect their performance during the day. Anger, over issues both small and large, can create bad moods that affect not only the child/teen but everybody else around them.
Sometimes emotions may be a result of stress. This can cause issues like irritability, poor sleep, changes in eating and social withdrawal. If there is enough disturbance in their daily life and performance, then it’s a good idea to step in as parents to help them out.
You can start by extending an invitation for discussion but don’t be surprised, and don’t force the issue, if they are not ready to talk yet. Simply provide a physical and emotional presence as you wait for them to take you up on that invitation. If you have an idea about what is going on, you can share your feelings of similar situations you may have experienced yourself. Open ended questions in a non-judgmental way can lead to good discussions.
Real life experiences are a great way to teach them how to manage their emotions. If there is a final message on these teaching points, it is that they need to learn that emotions happen, and they do not control our lives. It is possible to approach this in a methodical way, and as a parent, we always have to make sure we remain emotionally in control and balanced. Learning how to identify these feelings is the beginning of knowing what is going on with that bad mood. It is possible that we may have to role model and talk it out for them if they are having difficulty identifying their emotions. Next up, we need to teach them they can regulate emotions and thereby reduce other behavior problems. For one child it may be sitting in a comfortable spot to read a book but for another it may be burning some energy in the back yard before they come back in for a snack. Teaching them to be responsible for their feelings (so they don’t take it out on others) and learning some resiliency (they can change their mood) is a good start to a healthy mental state.
Developing resiliency is a good way to realize they can be in control of their emotions… So not only can they can deal better with stress and anger, for example, but they can extend this to other emotions such as fear and anxiety that may lead to self-doubt and lack of confidence. Your child may be curious about trying out for the soccer team, but they are not sure. A gentle push and acknowledgement of these feelings can help them try it out. These opportunities, in turn, may lead to some failures and mistakes, that when framed in a positive and teachable moment, can lead to growth and eventual self-confidence.
Here are some other tips to help your child develop a positive mental health:
- Enjoy the outdoors. Sunshine boosts your mood!
- Get enough sleep. This is about 11-12 hours for a 5-year-old, 10 hours for a 10-year-old, and 8 hours for a 15-year-old.
- Eat meals on a regular basis, starting with a good breakfast. Avoid sugar highs from junk food and fast food.
- Help your child practice gratitude and appreciation.
- Exercise on a regular basis.
- Teach your child to be kind to people and help others. It’s amazing how happy our hearts feel when we get involved in helping others, from as simple as holding a door open for somebody.
- Turn off the TV and electronics and play outside or play family board and card games.
- Teach your child about mindfulness, yoga or meditation. These are good techniques to reduce stress.
If you feel that emotions and stress have led your child or teen to significant anxiety or depression, let us know as we may be able to help and may provide other solutions. We are here for you!
(I originally published this article on Bronson’s web site, https://www.bronsonhealth.com/news/pediatric-news-/)
References and other reading:
Making Friends in School
It can be a challenge making friends in school if you are new to the school or neighborhood. The beginning of the school year can be a lot of fun for kids as they share and exchange stories from the summer activities: camping, fishing, making trips to see relatives, playing sports or going to camp. Seeing their friends in school is a great opportunity to share and exchange stories. But what if your child wants to make different friends from last year, or just simply make new friends?
Your child’s temperament can play a role if they tend to be shy. In addition, kids need to have the social skills to make connections with other kids. The challenge for any parent is how to help your child step out of their comfort zone and have the grace to create a relationship with another child.
For a child that is shy and perhaps introverted, helping them build social confidence can go a long way. Start out by setting examples at home.
Start at Home
A good place to help your child identify the values that are important to you is to practice at home. Talk with them about what you value most in a friendship, such as:
- Showing respect for others
- Playing in a fair way
- Sharing with others
- Talking in an encouraging and positive manner
Lead by Example
We should not underestimate how much our children are observing our behavior. When we have a good relationship with our child, we are more likely to influence them with our values. Having a good relationship with your child implies:
- Being involved in activities together
- Talking often (try doing the dishes together to set up for an easy conversation)
- Showing affection for each other
This in turn will help your child seek out other children who may share the same types of values and feelings.
Be a Host
We can take opportunities to get to know other children through school activities, from neighborhood parties, sports events, art camps and other get togethers. By hosting get togethers, you can observe the type of play that other children exhibit and how they treat each other. This will help you select those friendships that you wish to promote as you help your child’s social circle grow.
Help Them Build Social Skills
In addition to helping your child build friendships, it is important that they build good social skills. Here are some thoughts to consider:
- Teach your child how to start a conversation. This may be the biggest and earliest hurdle as we all want to put our best foot forward. Helping your child identify their interests so they can seek out children with similar interests can be the beginning for starting a conversation.
- Teach them how to keep a conversation going by exchanging ideas and opinions, acknowledging that topics and other ideas may change as the conversation progresses.
- Teach them how to read facial gestures so they can be empathetic with the other kid. By being understanding, they can foster a deeper relationship.
- Teach them how to recognize pauses in the conversation so they can give the other kid an opportunity to talk.
- Teach them how loud or soft-spoken they need to be depending on the setting. For example, yelling may be common when playing at the playground, but being soft-spoken may be better when talking one on one.
- Teach your child about personal space and keeping their hands to themselves. Some kids get excited when they are trying to make new friends and tend to invade personal space. They should learn that other children may not feel comfortable with that type of action.
All these suggestions will need to be practiced at home, so your child learns these skills and becomes confident. Pretend play and pretend scenarios can be a good place to start!
References
Let the Children Come to Me
“Let the children come to me” is a line from one of my favorite stories of the bible, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+18%3A1-5&version=NIV. It is a point of intersection where the disciples are feeling annoyed and irritated by the children playing around, feeling perhaps some element of pride as they think they know better what is needed for a teaching moment. And then, there’s Jesus wanting to highlight the simplicity and humility of children.
It was the end of this summer when I found myself reflecting on this story. The air felt warm, although it was tempered by a slight breeze. The clear blue sky with occasional cloud gave me energy and excitement for soccer practice that day. As I finished lacing up my soccer shoes, I saw the middle-Schoolers roll in for practice. We were in pre-season and about two weeks away from our first game.
I was an assistant coach last year and I’m doing it again this year. My responsibilities are not as heavy as the head coach’s job, but I have been wondering if I would like to get back into that position. There’s a certain excitement that goes along with managing a team, in particular as it relates to teaching children how to play the game, from developing their individual technical skills to learning the tactical aspect of how to play as a team. The last team I coached was a competitive U19 travel team before I decided to take a break a few years ago. Now I’m looking at a group of kids who have a wide range of skill, from never having played on a team to some who are playing travel soccer.
As we went through practice, I found myself following instructions and commands from the head coach to help the kids with their drills. It was in this state of humility that I found myself in the Ignatian style of prayer one more time with Jesus in the foreground. We were in Capernaum where Jesus had done many teachings. The weather was comfortably warm with a slight breeze coming from the west. The simple tunic I wore seemed cool enough as we sat in the shade. The houses were close by and there were multiple open areas for children to play. As Matthew in Chapter 18 recounted the story, “at that time, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, who he put among them, and said, “truly, I tell you unless you change and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” 1
I thought of this story and realized that being an assistant to help these children of God was actually a gift that God had given me to help me be more humble and more obedient. I desire nothing more than to be God’s servant so that I can be one with Jesus as I set my sights in God’s kingdom. It is only in this state of accepting humbly and receiving God’s love that I can return love to God.
Now two weeks later from that soccer practice, I find myself in mass today contemplating the first reading from Jeremiah and the love he is feeling for God. Jeremiah finds himself at odds with the chief officer Pashhur in the house of the Lord. After Jeremiah’s prophecies that terror will beset Jerusalem, Pashhur “struck the prophet and put him in the stocks at the upper gate of Benjamin in the House of the Lord.” (Jer 20:2)
Jeremiah finds himself in internal turmoil and exclaims, “you duped me Lord, and I let myself be duped. You were too strong for me, and you prevailed. All day long I am the object of laughter; everyone mocks me.” (Jer 20:7).
But despite his internal struggle, he cannot contain his love for God: “I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak in his name. But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones. I grow weary holding back, I cannot.” (Jer 20:9)
This living flame of God, as St. John of the Cross explains in his book2, consumes my heart and wants me to do nothing else but to please God. I want to get close to God, but I have to do it from a humble position, obedient to God and to God’s people. Only by being like a simple child, pure in heart and feeling free with the Holy Spirit, can I “go here or there,” and be God’s servant, can I be more like Jesus.
Psalm 63:2-9 pops into my head, a psalm of David when he has in the wilderness of Judah. I rest in God’s arms as I pray this psalm3:
Oh, God, you are my God –
it is you I seek!
for you, my body yearns;
for you, my soul thirsts
in a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
I look to you in the sanctuary
to see your power and glory
for your love is better than life;
my lips shall ever praise you!
I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands, calling on your name.
My soul shall be sated as with choice food,
with joyous lips my mouth shall praise you!
I think of you upon my bed,
I remember you through the watches of the night.
you indeed are my savior,
And in the shadow of your wings, I shout for joy.
My soul clings fast to you, your right hand upholds me.
References
- Matthew 18: 1-5. Bible Gateway, New International Version.
- The Living Flame of Love by St. John of the Cross. Cosimo Classics, New York, 2007. Translation by David Lewis.
- Psalm 63, New American RE Bible in Laudate App, https://catholicapps.com/laudate/
