Marcella Clancy, CSJ
This book could have many titles: The Story of Soul, The Seven Story Mountain, The Confessions of St. Augustine, The Dark Night of the Soul or The Interior Castle. What it shares in common with these books is the sacred story of an individual in search of God. How it differs makes it exquisitely relevant for today. It is not written by a priest, a religious but by a husband, a father, a pediatrician, a person whose life is filled, like most of us, with family and work responsibilities and concerns.
John initiated his writing when, in 1998, he had a relapse of testicular cancer. He, with his wife, Anne, had two young children aged 5 and 2. Death was a real possibility and John wanted to leave his children some knowledge of his life. John did not die but was encouraged to continue writing by a wise spiritual director both as a means of self-discovery and deepening his relationship with God. The reader journals with John over 20 years as he struggles to find God, to follow God’s will, to overcome his faults and flaws, and to integrate into his interior life with God his exterior life of recurring illness, keen disappointments, and the constant demands of family and professional responsibilities. John’s transparency and honesty in relating his pilgrimage to God with its stumbles and falls, warm experiences of God’s love, and continual ups and downs, twists and turns will provide encouragement to anyone who is also on this same journey. John’s journey underscores how one’s movement toward God is never a straight ascent to the heights.
Some of the most significant aspects of the book describe John’s growth in prayer beginning with oral prayers, to more meditative and then contemplative prayer, from 5 minutes of prayer to 15 minutes to an hour to wanting to pray always, yet at times wanting not to pray at all. He identifies resources that have helped him on his prayer journey that also may assist the reader. In Part 2 of the book, John touchingly describes incidents when his prayer with Scripture allowed Jesus to intimately communicate with him. In Ignatian spirituality it is described as “putting oneself in the scene” and John’s retelling of his Scriptural prayer reveals how the Word of God uniquely touches each of us in our particular circumstance and enables us to discover a compassionate God near and caring for us no matter where we find ourselves.
Several times John relates profound moments when “God’s love flows through him” and it may make those who long for such moments envious. Yet, God, as John emphasizes, desires each of us to experience our self as a beloved son or daughter. However, anyone who has attempted to make this journey can testify these moments do not last. We descend from the mountain and find ourselves again seeming distant from God, caught in our own vices, and feeling discouraged. What we learn from John’s writing is that it is always God who takes the initiative and can surprise us at any time. It does not depend on us or what we do.
Having had the privilege of accompanying many others on their own spiritual journey, as I read this book, I often wanted to suggest to John that he foster more compassion toward himself, be kinder and gentler and less condemnatory. Though John acknowledges that any good he may do is always a gift of God at times he is tempted, like all on this journey, to think if he were better, humbler, more dependent on God he could feel God’s love flowing thought him more constantly. Yet the truth is God often seems absent in the holiest of lives. The great spiritual writers tell us that God is never absent but just gone deeper and draws us to travel to that deeper place and abide in Divine Love ever more profoundly. Certainly, John’s writing is a witness to this.
I loved reading this book. It details in the context of an ordinary man’s life, the extraordinary presence and intimate Love of God found, lost, and found again and again. From John’s perspective it is he finding God. From God’s perspective it is the Good Shepherd determined to find the lost sheep over and over again and holding him close to God’s Heart carry him home. Anyone who desires to begin the journey of finding God or who is already on the journey of finding and losing and finding again will find hope, courage, and encouragement to persevere. This book underscores the intimate love of God for each of us and God’s great desire to communicate that love to everyone, absolutely no exceptions.
Submitted by Marcella Clancy, CSJ
Congregation of the Sisters of Saint Joseph
Mindfulness in Adolescents
This is the third part on the topic of Mindfulness after talking about it in infants and in children. See archived issues in September and October respectively, at https://www.johnspitzermd.com/category/pediatric-corner/
Although apps can be useful to teens when they are trying to learn about mindfulness and the techniques to practice mindfulness (Headspace, Calm, Insight Meditation Timer, Smiling Mind, and Stop, Breathe and Think), teens learn best by practicing mindfulness in the moment and as they are relating to others. The daily practice involves being in the moment with friends, family, in a relationship, or in sports competition. At the heart of the activity is the ability to be present in the moment, listen with an open mind, and speak back with kindness, understanding and honesty.
When we begin to practice mindfulness, we become in tune with our bodies: we learn to pair our emotions with how our body feels. During moments of stress, for example, we learn what parts of our body tend to tense up. As we learn to recognize what is going on with our body in a particular moment and practice mindfulness, we learn to control our emotions. From here, we begin to improve our relationships as we learn to listen to others. Interestingly enough, we release dopamine (the “feel-good neurotransmitter”) when we show compassion and kindness to others.
Part of mindfulness involves being in the moment without passing judgment. This frees us from any distractions while we try to absorb the outside and feel what we have in the inside. This allows us to see ourselves as we are, with all our positives and even accepting all our negatives. As we accept ourselves as we are, we become more confident and begin to develop a more positive self-image. Studies have shown that teens who practice mindfulness have less problems with anxiety, depression and have more resilience. In addition, teens that meditate or practice mindfulness concentrate better at school and perform better during the exams.
We can begin this concept of mindfulness at home during dinnertime. The conversation can go in many directions, including some joyful and laughing moments while at other times there may be some stress and tension. In either situation, being able to listen with an open heart and mind while making sure we understand and empathize what the other is saying is key to avoiding raising voices and beginning an argument. We can minimize distractions by putting our phones down and beginning the meal with a moment of silence to be grateful for being together and sharing each other’s company. For some families, this may take the form of a prayer.
It is important that teens understand why this is important. I found Sara Raymond’s YouTube video from the Mindful Movement a good introduction to mindfulness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psyExnCkcXU
I also found an easy read for teens the book by pediatrician Dzung X. Vo, MD: The Mindful Teen.
Let’s empower our teens to be free and resilient!
Humility and Faith
The themes of pride and humility pop up in my life frequently. It seems to me that this is one the major things I’m supposed to work out in my life here on earth. Once more, I come face to face with these topics this week. I have been re-reading Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation1, thinking about and contemplating Chapter 7.
Talking about Union and Division in this chapter, Thomas Merton is weaving in the themes of pride and humility. He spends a good deal of time in this chapter talking about how man chooses to do things on his own and not work with others as he senses competition with others, and compares himself with others to see if he is better or not.
As I contemplate this chapter, I find myself in Galilee following Jesus and his teachings. He has gone up to the mountain sides and has had the sermon of the mount in Matthew 5. In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about giving to the needy, praying the Our Father, fasting and appearances, and not to have anxiety about clothing and food. In Matthew 7, he talks about not judging others, the narrow gate, true and false prophets and disciples. And then Jesus comes down from the mountain side and heads back into Capernaum (Matthew 8)
Capernaum was a fishing village established during the time of the Hasmoneans, located on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee. The Hasmoneans were a dynasty of Jewish kings that fought to liberate Judea from Seleucid rule and created an independent state. The family’s name was apparently derived from an unknown ancestor named Ḥashmonay. Capernaum had a population of about 15002. We now come to the passage on Matthew 8:5 where Jesus heals the centurion’s servant.
The Faith of the Centurion (Matthew 8:5-13)3
5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
7 Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”
8 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11 I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12 But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
13 Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.
In the Roman world, the centurion had a very important position. He was an officer in the Roman army whose experience and valor were crucial in maintaining order on the battlefield and ensuring that the Roman’s empire military successes continued over time. A centurion commanded a unit of around 100 soldiers but was also responsible for administrative duties, such as assigning duties and giving out punishments. Centurions had the ability to advance in administrative responsibilities, but the name centurion would be remembered for the veteran who led by the courageous example on the battlefield.4
In the words of Polybius5 (a Greek historian of the Hellenistic period, noted for his work The Histories, which covered the period of 264–146 BC and wrote on the rise of Rome to prominence), “the centurion must not be a venturesome seeker after danger but as men who can command, steady in action, and reliable; they ought not to be over-anxious to rush into fight, but when hard-pressed, they must be ready to hold their ground, and die at their posts.”
With such a prominence in the Roman world, the story is about this very important person being humble before Jesus. This sits in contrast to the points that Thomas Merton makes in his chapter: man not wanting to be in union with other men finds himself in a state of division, wanting to be separate and distinct. Afraid to be challenged by others and be in a world that is forever becoming more competitive, man wants to go at it alone. This division is fueled by spiritual pride, and “is most dangerous when it succeeds in looking like humility. When a proud man thinks he is humble, his case is hopeless.”
So Thomas Merton asks us to set our pride aside, come together in union with other people which will become a means for finding ourselves: “I must look for my identity, somehow, not only in God, but in other men. I will never be able to find myself if I isolate myself from the rest of mankind as if I were a different kind of being.”
Coming together as children of God, acknowledging that we are one with Jesus and accepting in the bottom of our heart that we are made for each other, helps us discover ourselves as we are made of the same fabric: made from the Spirit of God. Keeping this faith helps bind us together.
As Pope Benedict XVI explains in Benedictus, Day by Day6: “… God is no longer the distant and indeterminate God to whom no bridge will reach, he is the God at hand. The body of the Son is the bridge for our souls. Through him, each single person’s relationship with God has been blended together in his one relationship with God so that turning one’s gaze toward God is no longer a matter of turning one’s gaze away from others and from the world but in uniting of our gaze and of our being in the single gaze and of the one being of the Son … [the Kingdom of God] will be complete when the son hands to the father his kingdom, that is, in-gathered humanity and the creation that is carried with them. That is why the purely private existence isolated self no longer exists but all that is mine is yours.”
As I celebrate Advent and move closer to Christmas Day, I pray for our humanity that we can set pride aside, find humility in the bottom of our hearts and come together as brothers and sisters, children of God and sharers of the one and same Holy Spirit!
References
- New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton, New Directions Books, 2007 Edition.
- https://www.bibleplaces.com/capernaum/
- https://www.biblegateway.com/ and New International Version (NIV).
- https://www.worldhistory.org/Centurion/
- https://www.britannica.com/biography/Polybius
- Benedictus, Day by Day, Pope Benedictus XVI, Magnificat & Ignatius Press, October 2006.
Thanksgiving for Picky Eaters
Thanksgiving can be a fun time for family get-togethers. However, sometimes life can be challenging when trying to prepare a meal plan for your picky eater.
Here are some tips to improve your chances that your child will have a good meal experience:
Engage your child in meal planning. Some pointed questions like, “what veggie would you like with your dinner?” “What do you think about a fruit with your meal?” “What do you think about eating turkey for dinner?” can empower them to help us with the menu, especially if we look up together some recipes. Then, they are more likely to look forward to the event and eat a balanced meal. Here are some samples of food groups from the American Academy of Pediatrics https://www.healthychildren.org
Use food bridges or like foods to expand their repertoire of healthy foods. For Example, if he likes mashed potatoes, try sweet potatoes.
Choose at least one food you know your child will like. In that way, she is guaranteed to eat something nutritious at meal time.
Make it look, smell, and taste delicious. What do you think about becoming an artist for thanksgiving? Enhance the look and smell of a dish with special ingredients (for example cinnamon on cooked apples or nutmeg on peaches.
Keep the mealtime relaxing and enjoyable. After all, this is time for family and friends to come together, feel thankful and enjoy each other’s company.
To learn more about fussy eaters, follow this link:
References:
Types of Prayer
There are times when I feel swept up by a passage in the bible, and I then place myself in the bible scene in the form of Ignatian spirituality and prayer.
It was the end of February and the winter in Michigan was growing long. Snow blowing and shoveling snow on a regular basis, sometimes early in the morning around 5 am and then again in the evening, was making me physically tired. Work was demanding and taking care of 2-month-old puppies had become stressful. Having little time to take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually was becoming a challenge. I was craving me-time and it was not happening. I had been praying to God, seeking peace, and asking for strength to help me get through the days, but I could tell that God was letting me stay in this state until I could figure it out, but it just wasn’t happening.
Then one morning around 5:15 am I woke up to Henry’s whining, our boy dog. All was dark in the house, and I made my way down the stairs to get their collars, grumbling in my heart on why I had to do this and lamenting that I could not sleep longer. As I knelt to Henry’s crate and opened the door, he pushed through and into my chest as I put his collar around him, wagging his tail and licking me. I then found myself near Tyre and Sidon in the middle of the day, the sun was bearing down on the dirt roads, people were staying in the shade either by trees or by their houses, and the chickens were picking at the ground looking for food. Jesus and his disciples had withdrawn to this area after rebuking the Pharisees for clinging to their traditions and elevating these above mercy and love. Confrontations were becoming more frequent for Jesus but the time for his crucifixion was not to take place yet, so he needed to withdraw from Israel to this Gentile land.
Tyre and Sidon were 2 Phoenician cities along the coast of the Mediterranean and still present today in modern day Lebanon; Tyre was about 20 miles south of Sidon and about 12 miles from the current-day Israel and Lebanon border. This area was known as the land of Canaan and was dominant up to the years 1250c – 1150 c. BC1 when it is believed a major catastrophe took place, possibly military, that resulted in the dissolution of their land and culture. The bible has this time in history as the invasion by Hebrew General Joshua and the Israelites2. Tyre and Sidon prospered because of their seaports and trade centers. The Canaanites were polytheistic and were considered corrupt and pagan by Israel standards, a threat to Israel’s monotheistic religion and relationship with God. With time, the Canaanites military weakened and became inferior to the Israelites. With this backdrop, I saw the Canaanite woman approach Jesus, crying out to Him, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.” (Matthew 15:21-28). Mark also recounts this story and places Jesus in a house that he had chosen to have his disciples rest (Mark 7:24-30). The woman is well aware of the rivalry between the Jewish and the Canaanites, and acknowledges Jesus’ superior standing as a Jew, but also is willing to acknowledge him as the Messiah since she called him the “Son of David.” Jesus does not address her initially, and only after the disciples urge Him to send her away, he replies, “I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel.”
The woman, after initially crying out to Jesus for mercy, knelt near Jesus and said, “Lord, help me!” He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.”
But in her inferiority and humility, she had acquiesced to the role of a dog while acknowledging Jesus as her master. “Yes, Lord” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Because of her faith, Jesus healed her daughter.
While I was holding Henry in my chest and then proceeded to get Margaret’s collar on (our girl dog), I acknowledged that the winter had become long and difficult. It had become difficult trying to be loving and charitable on my own terms, forcing this desire while at the same time having the desire to have my own “me time.” I acknowledged that I had not let God in to help me with this dilemma because I wanted to do it in my own terms. The load became heavy enough that I finally found myself praying to God, “Lord, have mercy on me, I am one the dogs right now and I could eat whatever crumb you let fall from your table.”
At that moment, I felt like humility settled in and I was now ready to accept God’s healing. As we went down the sidewalk with snowbanks on either side, I contemplated the dark cloudless sky full of stars. I was in awe that the universe could be so big and so beautiful, and God had created this. In that silent walk I felt so engulfed by God. My heart felt warm even though it was cold at 15 degrees and steam was coming from my breath. As the dogs searched for a spot to potty on the snow, I continued to feel God in that beautiful sky, just letting myself drift into the vast space of the universe. Peace settled into my heart and for that moment, as Margaret and Henry locked their eyes on me and I looked at them, I experienced a deep sense of love from them, and in return, I felt love for them too. We stood looking at each other for what seemed to be minutes but were probably just a few seconds. No words were exchanged, just simply looks. The cold air began to seep through my coat, and we had to make it back into the house. It was an intense moment, a moment that I was able to bask in that morning but, interesting enough, I forgot the moment in its intensity once I got busy again with life’s routines and schedules.
As I went through March, I could remember the moment but could not reproduce its intensity like that morning in February. I longed for that moment of love and peace, but I could not reproduce it. It reminded me of Peter trying to build three tents for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah when Jesus underwent the transfiguration. The moment was so intense, so full of love and peace, that he wanted to keep it for himself by building those three tents while they were up in the mountain, but Jesus did not want him to freeze-frame it. As I thought of Peter, I came to realize that Jesus wanted me to understand that these experiences were eternal without a beginning or an end, and although I wanted to keep it for myself, my faculties would not allow me to remember the intensity of it. I have come to believe that this moment was an infusion of love by God.
This excerpt is taken from Chapter 19 of my recently published book, Finding God Again and Again. It highlights the style of prayer in Ignatian Spirituality as “placing oneself in the scene” as I pray in a passage of the bible and let the Word come to me with its message and healing. Placing myself in the scene, I use all my senses as I meditate on the passage: what I see, hear, feel and maybe even taste, if necessary. In this particular, winter story, the prayer happened spontaneously at 5:15 in the morning as I had read this bible story before and was able to recall the facts. But at that moment, I was ready spiritually to let the Word “come to me.” Sometimes I find myself trying to force prayer, even to the point of wanting my will to supersede God’s will. It is only in humility and with patience that I can let God come into my heart.
Depending on the busyness of my day, I go from mental prayer (perhaps saying a few petitions or reciting some prayers) to meditative prayer (as above) to contemplative prayer, where I let God and the Holy Spirit take me where it wills, and as Jesus says, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)
Lately, I have been reading about Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer. This style of prayer has a monastic Christian love mysticism where I let God into my heart while I turn off my mind. You could say that this is another form of contemplative prayer, and the key part is learning how to turn off the mind. Certainly, a challenge for me but I continue to work on this.
I originally posted this article as a guest writer in Dr. Matthew Welsh’s website, https://www.spiritualmediablog.com/
Resources
- Byers, Gary. The Biblical Cities of Tyre and Sidon, Associates for Biblical Research, created January 26, 2010. Retrieved from https://www.biblearcheology.org
- Mark, Joshua. Ancient History Encyclopedia, last modified October 23, 2018. Retrieved from http://www.ancient.eu/canaan/
Mindfulness in Children
By 5 years of age, most children are heading into kindergarten having learned to polish learning some life skills: getting dressed, taking baths, washing hands, learning how to write, riding a bike and so on. As it turns out, it is possible to begin to teach mindfulness in children and some meditation.
It is a good idea to instill this concept as a daily habit rather than using it during times of stress. Practice is key to becoming more proficient, and can be incorporated into daily routines or activities, such as when playing outside, drawing or painting, and when doing bedtime reading. Help children feel new feelings and sensations, even if the moment may seem neutral at the time. It’s amazing how easily pleasantness can pop up after a few minutes.
Children like to copy parents so it’s a clever idea for parents to be role models for them. Practice mindfulness yourself in front of them and with them. It’s possible that at the beginning, while you are seated in a relaxed position, maybe even in a yoga pose with your eyes closed, your child may not know what you are doing (there may be even some laughing and giggling) but will be curious and learn from there.
As kids grow older, life becomes more challenging as they begin to experience the loss of control and have set backs. They may even find adversity in the school playground or classroom. It is easy to lose grip of the moment to the point that it threatens the sense of self. It is at this point that kids begin to question their worth and their strength. A simple exercise to incorporate into the practice of mindfulness is with the mnemonic RAIN (The New York Times, 2017):
- R (Recognize): Acknowledge the moment in a calm, accepting manner
- A (Accept): Allow the moment to be what it is without changing it right away
- I (Investigate): Be in touch with your feelings and see how you feel
- N (Non-Identification): Realize the sensations and feelings will soon pass and do not define you.
Here are some phone apps that can be helpful to kids (from iPhone Magazine and Psychology Today). You may need to be involved initially to help them explore the app:
- Smiling Mind (www.smilingmind.com.au). Produced by non-profit organization in Australia, a good beginner’s tool to help children develop awareness of how their body feels.
- Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame (www.sesamestreetincommunities.org). Good for young kids to learn the concept of calming down through breathing.
- Headspace (www.headspace.com/kids). Uses cartoons to teach how meditation works. It has a lot of guided meditations in different areas, even incorporating sports and health. Focuses on calm, kindness and bedtime. Can be customized to children < 5 years, 6 to 8, 9 to 12, and adult version.
- Calm (www.calm.com). Helps children relax and restore themselves after a full day of running around. Has sounds like ocean waves and wind that kids may like to listen to. It has sleep stories to read to kids to help them relax and sleep better.
- Three Good Things (www.threegoodthingsaday.com). This app is actually a journal that helps children focus on the positive of life by writing 3 good things that went well that day, and therefore practicing gratitude.
As kids grow into their pre-teen and teenage years, it will become important for them to understand that either good or adverse moments, bringing either happiness or sadness/frustration/anger, do not define them. By practicing mindfulness and meditation, they can go deeper into who they are and what they want in life. Tune in for the next article on Mindfulness for Teenagers!
Mindfulness and Your Infants
Our lives are frequently challenged with work and other external pressures that often make it hard to parent. Sometimes we find ourselves trying to parent but are not in the moment, we are stressed or preoccupied. It is not much different with children and teens, although their stressors may seem trivial to us. Starting with this post, I’ll try to cover the practice of mindfulness over the next 3 editions (mindfulness in infants, children, and teens) and hopefully you’ll find these tips helpful for you and your children.
The concept of mindfulness is a technique that helps us pay attention to the current moment with an accepting, gentle and non-judgmental attitude. This practice helps develop compassion, curiosity, focus and empathy, thereby relieving stress, minimizing anxiety and promoting happiness.
Our frontal lobes act as the Executive Office in our decision making and conscious behavior. The area behind these lobes, the pre-frontal cortex area, oversees focus, paying attention and cognitive control. This area develops quickly in our infancy and childhood years and is involved ultimately in the development of skills such as self-regulation, focus, judgement, and patience. As parents, we are instrumental in the development of mindfulness in our children. In fact, the best way to teach them this skill is by modeling it ourselves.
It is possible to begin to instill this concept with our infants, even right after birth. Newborns and infants can feel our bodies when we are holding them. Feeling relaxed, we can impart this feeling to them and help them relax as well. Being in the moment implies putting away our distractions, including electronics, no matter what is happening. While holding the baby quietly, we can make eye contact in a gentle and loving manner. Being in the moment, totally dedicated to them during the feedings, can allow the infants to bond with us in a relaxed and mindful way. They will actually start to copy our behavior.
When your infant becomes upset or cries, try to not let him or her make you agitated and anxious. You will end up tensing up your body. Instead, remain calm, maybe take some deep breaths, and remember that you are always in control. It is important that you feel confident in yourself. Acknowledge to yourself what is going on and think calmly how you are going to solve the problem. With time, it will become important for you to acknowledge that you can soothe your infant.
Finally, incorporate thankfulness into the moment. After all, how special is it that you are here with your infant? Feeling their breathing, the warmth of their body, and the wiggles of their legs on your chest and belly will help you feel thankful that you have brought this little creature into the world. It then becomes easy to feel that our lives are better because of our child.
Contemplation
Life transformation in Contemplative Living
I am called to wholeness and integration into our community, our culture, and our society. My response to this is to be in contemplative living, the activity in daily life prompted by the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Contemplative Living and Contemplative Prayer
I use contemplative prayer to help me with my daily life. This prayer is the development of my relationship with Christ to the point of communing beyond words, thoughts, and feelings. I move from the simplified activity of waiting upon God to the ever-increasing predominance of the gifts of the Holy Spirit as the source of my prayer.
To refresh my memory, these seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are: wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, reverence (wonder and profound adoring awed respect) and faith. With all these gifts wrapped up into one state of being, I find myself looking at Jesus face to face, talking with God in silence as One Spirit.
Two Streams of Consciousness
In living life and just being, I find myself in two steams of consciousness. My exterior life with everything and everybody that surrounds me, I find God in all things. As Matthew Kelty, O.C.S.O., says in Sermons in a Monastery, “I touch eternity and eternal life in God by the trivial things I do every day, in every breath I draw, every time I have a drink of water, …” As we are made in God’s image, I see God in my brothers and sisters. As God has made nature, I see God in the dew drop coming off a leaf blade and, in the sun, setting at the end of the day. In all this, I give thanks to God for letting me participate in God’s joy. This joy stirs my heart and allows me to go the bottom of my heart.
In my interior life, where I am silent with God in the bottom of my heart, I commune with God praying with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is here that I acknowledge that I don’t have to be holy to love God, I just have to be myself with all my gifts and talents but also with my faults and inadequacies as God loves just the way I am. It is here where I don’t have to be holy to see God in all things, but as Matthew Kelty says, “I only have to play as a child”, full of innocence and with an unselfish heart, devoid of pride but full of humility and reverence for my God.
I can use Lectio Divina to help me move into contemplation. There are four stages as I pray in the style of Lectio Divina: reading (a passage from the bible), meditation (reflecting and pondering upon the words from my reading), prayer (as the reflections lead my will to accept myself being in the presence of the Lord), and contemplation (as I rest in the Lord, speechless and hopefully thoughtless)
I can also use the Jesuit style of praying as I place myself in the scene as I meditate on the scripture reading.
Praying in Capernaum
As I ponder about these thoughts, I find myself in Capernaum with Jesus and the disciples. In Matthew 16, Jesus was in Caesarea Philippi and has told Peter that he will be His rock and the cornerstone of the church. In Matthew 17, Jesus has taken Peter, John and James up the mountain top and has undergone the transfiguration. Now in Capernaum in Matthew 18, Jesus finds himself with the disciples in the middle of the day. I too find myself in prayer as I participate in their meeting and talking. The dry air feels hot but there is a breeze going through my shirt. My forehead is slightly moist from sweat. I am a little tired from the walking we have been doing through the town. One of the disciples has asked Jesus,
“Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2 He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
As Thomas Keating explains in Open Mind, Open Heart, “A childlike attitude makes sense in this situation. You don’t have to do anything. Just rest in God’s arms. It is an exercise of just being rather than of doing. You will be able to accomplish what you have to do with much greater effectiveness and joy.”
As I rest with this explanation by Jesus, I let the gifts of the Holy Spirit envelope me and I remain quiet in my heart, in awe and full reverence for God as I let the child in me look at Jesus face to face.
References
- Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton, Book Eight. Ave Maria Press, 2011.
- Sermons in a Monastery: Chapter Talks, by Matthew Kelty, O.C.S.O., 1983.
- Open Mind, Open Heart by Thomas Keating, 20th Anniversary Edition 2006.
Back to School
It is hard to believe that it is that time of the year already to start thinking about going to school in September. After such an odd year last year with COVID-19, our sons and daughters can expect to be at school in person this academic year. With those 12 years of age and older and who have had the COVID vaccine, they may be given the option to not wear a mask in class. However, for those 11 years of age and younger, they are going to still need to practice safe guidelines, including wearing a mask, social distancing for 6 feet and good handwashing.
Otherwise, we are back to the usual routine of getting ready to start school that first week of September (or last week of August for private schools). Here are some thoughts and tips to help you get ready:
Your son or daughter is new to the school
Meet your new teacher. One of the big questions before school starts is, “Will I like my teacher?” You can help break the ice by taking advantage of the school open house or back-to-school night event. Usually, these events are very friendly with kids’ activities to help your child feel “at home.” Around this time, teachers may also make themselves available via phone calls or email in case you need to discuss special circumstances, such as learning disabilities or food allergies, for example. Also take advantage of the school’s website so you can let your son/daughter see a picture of the new teacher.
Tour the school premises. The open house also becomes an opportunity to tour the school. Help your son/daughter familiar themselves with the classroom, hallways, bathrooms and the main office. You may also get an opportunity to see where your child may sit and what her/his desk looks like. Sitting at the desk can bring a lot comfort. Finally, seeing the playground will help him/her visualize what recess is going to look like and feel like.
Connecting with Friends. Sometimes you get lucky during the open house visit that your son/daughter will get a chance to see a familiar face or friend. Even just one friend can make all the difference in the world as odds are, they are looking forward to being in school with your son/daughter. If you happen to know if friend might be attending that school, maybe set up a playdate prior to the open house so they can talk about the school and develop a comfort level with each other.
Recall past positive experiences. Help them remember that they have had fun with other kids in previous activities, be them sports, another school or other recreational activity. Highlight for them how they were able to get over their fears or anxieties and enjoyed themselves. Self-efficacy is part of being able to visualize yourself and see yourself succeed, and memory plays a big part.
Weeks before school starts
Get Your Supplies. One of my more exciting times before school started was going with my mom to the office supply store to buy my coloring pencils, paper pads or notebooks, ruler and pens. Check with his/her teacher as to what is being recommended so your son/daughter is ready to go on day one. Let your child pick out the supplies with your guidance. Giving them the opportunity to make decisions will empower them to go to school.
Choose a backpack. Another fun item for them to pick out! Make sure it is wide enough for school supplies, has padded shoulder straps and a padded back. Teach them about all the compartments the backpack has and what to place in each one. Encourage them to keep the backpack light so talk about what goes in it and what does not belong. A good rule of thumb is that the backpack should not weight more than 10-20% of your child’s weight. Teach them how to use both straps and make sure the bottom of the backpack is at their waste line.
Getting a new lunch box. What art design will it be this year? What was the latest Pixair movie or Disney show? This is another opportunity for them to make a choice and let them buy into the excitement of going back to school. Keep the lunchbox simple and easy to use.
Minimize school work before school starts. It might be possible that you had a curriculum, perhaps a small one and at a more leisurely pace, that you followed during the summer months. This is always a great idea to maintain some academic performance and him/her ready for when school starts. However, it would be a good idea to back off and let your son/daughter have unstructured play time at least a couple weeks before school starts.
Get back to the school routine. As a family, you probably have been enjoying the sun setting down late in the evening to continue to do family and play activities. Turning the “sleep” clock back gradually over the course of 1-2 weeks is helpful as you get ready for that first day when your child has to be out the door by 730 in the morning. Go through your routine with your child and what expectations you have so as to be on time, either being on time at the bus stop or you are driving them to school.
Make the First Day a Success!
Be on time. Better yet, if you can, try to arrive to school early so you can give your son/daughter an opportunity to walk around the hallways, classroom and recall where are the bathrooms.
Make contact with the teacher. It is a good idea to touch bases with teacher at the end of the 1st day, and maybe even every day during the first week, to see how your son/daughter is integrating into the new learning environment. Check to see how friendships and cooperation are developing. Finally, this gives the teacher an opportunity to see that you are engaged and invested in your child’s success.
Traveling To and From School
Riding the school bus. Here are a few tips to ease their fears and ensure safety:
- Remind them to always board and exit the bus at locations that provide safe access to the bus or to the school building.
- They should make themselves visible to the bus driver so teach them how to look at the driver so they can see that the driver is looking at them.
- Remind your child to wait for the bus to stop before approaching it from the curb. If he/she has to cross the street to get to the bus, they should look both ways before crossing. You can work with them 1-2 weeks before school starts to teach them how to cross the street.
- Remind them that one of the rules in the bus is they should stay in their seat and not move around to chat with friends.
- Check on the school’s policy regarding food on the bus. Eating on the bus can present a problem for students with allergy and also lead to infestations of insects and vermin on the vehicles.
- If your son/daughter has food allergy problems or chronic medical conditions, make sure the school and bus driver know about these and they can have a “bus emergency plan.”
Riding in the Car. This is a good time to review the basics just in case you are taking other children:
- Children should be in a car seat with a harness for as long as possible, and then ride in a belt-positioning booster seat. Check specifications for both types of seats but some good rules of thumb for moving to the booster seat include the shoulders are above the top harness slots or their ears have reached the top of the seat.
- For older children, our State of Michigan law calls for them to be in the back seat until the age of 12 years and they reach a height of 4’ 9”. If they have outgrown their booster seat, double check that the shoulder belt lies across the chest and shoulder and not the neck or throat; and the lap belt should ride across the pelvic bones and by the thighs, and not over the stomach area.
- For those in high school, remind them to limit the number of passengers in the car to minimize distractions while driving. In the State of Michigan, the recommendation is to have no more than one non-family member in the car. Also remind them about not texting while driving, no cell-phone conversations and no alcohol-drinking. You can learn more about graduated driver’s license law from the AAP’s Healthy Children website.
Riding a bike. Follow these guidelines to ensure a safe ride:
- Practice the bike route to school before the first day of school to make sure your child can manage it.
- Make it a rule to always wear a helmet no matter how short or long the ride to and from school.
- Use the sidewalks as much as possible, and if they have to go on the road, to ride on the right side of the street, in the same direction as auto traffic and ride in bike lanes if they are present.
- Use appropriate hand signals when coming to a corner or turn.
- Respect traffic lights and stop signs.
- Wear bright-colored clothing to increase visibility. White or light-colored clothing and reflective gear is especially important after dark.
Walking to and from School.
In general, children are ready developmentally to start walking to and from school around the age ages between 9 and 11 years. But also check to see how they are doing with their impulse control. In general, younger children tend to be more impulsive and need an adult to go with them to school.
- Walking with friends and in a group is always safer than walking alone.
- Try to stay on the path or side walk where there are trained adult crossing guards, particularly as it related to crossing the streets.
- Think about dressing your children with bright-colored clothing to make them more visible to drivers.
https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/back-to-school-tips-for-parents
Integrating into Society as a Child of God
How do I integrate into society as a child of God?
In reviewing Ira Progoff’s, At a Journal Workshop, we each behave as if we are a water well of life that goes deep into the underground where it finds a steady stream. This stream, which connects all of us as individual wells, rejuvenates us and reenergizes us so that we go back up to the surface to make our surroundings a better place to live. This living water brings life to my soul so that I can share myself with all.
In the process of dealing with our own wells and battling our egos, we strive to find the inner truth, who we are as God made us out to be. Thomas Merton invites us to have loyalty to the truth of God’s creation: our souls as we relate to each other.
Only when the veil is broken, as St. John of the Cross says in The Living Flame, can we experience our inner truth and ourselves as spiritual beings who are made to love, to have compassion, and to have mercy. Under these circumstances, we can then integrate more easily with our community.
We can then become witnesses as the disciple John states in his first letter,
Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness (1 John)
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.Int
